It's a mothers thing
Sunday, everything was a mess. Both my sons are suffering really bad. Dj the eldest is having a hard time with his constant vomiting and diarrhea. Benedict my second baby was coughing hard and sometimes vomits caused by the phlegm in his lungs. Every time he coughs, I feel like crying and wasted to pain to transfer to me.
I decided to take off not only because my sons are not feeling well but also I wanted to be there to comfort them in times like these. Before calling my boss, I asked myself if I am ready for any consequence this act has for me. I had no answer. But I believe that being a mother is a lifetime job and my job is just part of being a mother. Lets say they’ll kick my butt off because I’m no use, and because my priority should be work work work, and family should come next then, that will be the time to let go. No company offers that kind of priority list. (I hope)
So yesterday was a very hectic day for me. I was a 100% mother. I fed them, clean their butts, and all. To top it all, I wasn’t able to take a bath!!! Hahah! Anyway, I still felt this sense of accomplishment doing things for my sons. Yeah I know I am not a good mother but I’m trying to be one. I still have to weight things like work and kids because I cannot have both at the same time. I am a bit confused right now. I am also a bit guilty. These confusion and guilt comes together for me especially when things like these happen to my kids. Is this normal for me to feel this way? Is it normal for a working mom to feel like I do? Oh my.. I’m so confused. I think I’ll better read some books….
Doing those things to my sons made me remember my time when I was sick. My mom used to do the same to me… When I was older, I used to tell myself that I will be a doctor or a nurse…haha it never happened… or maybe it will. it is never too late.. hehehe I just don’t know!
The other night john I and saw this segment on national geographic about the worlds most amazing moments. It featured everything amazing. The Pinatubo eruption was there, the sacrifices people in the Philippines do during lent season (self-beating and all) and the person who crucifies himself on good Friday as his promise to the Lord, the tsunami and all the stuff. On the other segment, it features weird people. One person wanted his tongue to be cut into two pieces. The process was done by person who does those things and he is not a doctor or anything closer than that. We saw the whole process and it was so gross. The commentator said, if the tongue heals, he can move both sides of his tongue separately. And this will probably make him quite a fine kisser…EEEEWWWW! Imagine the guy you are kissing has two tongues? Would it excite you or not? As for me, I’ll just stick to johns and I don’t want to entertain the thought…. This is getting weird… I am getting weird. I’ll just stop leaving this saying to ponder…
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
A mother,
A sister,
A friend,
brAt
