watermelonshake

Farewell, as the world itself denotes aptly of letting go. Two of my colleagues have found another path to lead their lives with. One has, I believed, let go of the company she has worked for more than five years because to the changes that has been implemented; leaving her mo choice but to go. She felt defeated, betrayed and lost. The other has “found another good opportunity which he believes it is” as I quote the Finance Manager and the VP operations. Listening to their speeches yesterday made me feel proud that I was part of their lives for the past 3 years that I have in the same department with them.

Still letting go and saying goodbye is a very had and difficult thing to do... I salute their stand of going while they are still on top. We will never know the main reasons behind this but definitely know that these people have been more like a family to me… They will surely be missed.

On other news, I had the chance to attend Dr. Obagi seminar yesterday. The talk was mostly Arabic. But on the lighter note, after the said talk, their was a sumptuous dinner.haha. the shrimps were great! The fruits are also the best!

Tomorrow will be my hubby’s bday. Wala mi hikay kay wala money.i will just give him a shoes. Happy birthday john!!!

calling home from work is very rare for me. i dont like the feeling of listening to my sons plea to just be online, talk to them, sing with them and sometimes scold them..

today unlike any other day that i was able to call from work, i had the chance to be part of their exploring. though im not actually at home i am still thankful that i called and checked them out. i was told that my sons were into some sort of misdemeanour. my eldest, dominic happily draws on the face of his little bro. benedict. benedict on the other hand, i believe, happily sits still while his kuya draws things on his face. I just cant imagine how they look like !!!! these are the times that I regret not being there with my kids.

I called my john and inform him what the boys were up to. I was quite proud of what he has to say: let them be, they are still exploring things around them. Oh well I guess being a parent changes you.

On other news, this blog is officially open, I mean to john.. i was hesitant to give the address to him at first but after some thinking, I gave in. I told him this that this is my personal blog. Whatever it was that I wrote was what im actually feeling at that very moment and that it doesn’t necessary mean that it would stay as what I wrote.

This blog as what I have been writing is just a product of my mind and heart working hand in hand. So to you my john, welcome the my blog. Enjoy reading.

p.s.
please leave a comment sad oi..

thanks.

dhOt

A colleague of mine at work resigned! She tendered her resignation yesterday, though she already informed me about her plans and all, seeing her leave work is as stressful as starting a new job. I mean, i see her the whole day today covering the pain she is carrying inside her. i too had to cover my feeling of loss to our dept. she has been a good friend of mine. she was my very first Indian friend in this world. can you imagine the feeling? we've been friends for three years. we used to share thoughts on everything --- be in concerning work, family, life, our heartaches, and all. So saying goodbye to her is life saying goodbye to a sister. its so painful especially if entertaining the thought that we have a very slim chance of meeting each other again. oh well this is the real life and change is the only constant as they say so i guess it would be better to move on.

by next month another colleague will be going. is there really something happening in the company that i don't know? people are being transfered to the branches, some are resigning others are waiting for the unknown, waiting who will go next,waiting,waiting and waiting.

Today is our wedding anniversary for both the civil and the church wedding. Our civil wedding came before the church wedding and only a handful knew about it. Our church wedding was three years ago. Both john and I decided to acknowledge our church wedding since it was the day that we promised to love and cherish each other through the days of our lives in front of the people we love and most of all in front of the Lord. So today we are officially married for three years. WOW! Though everyday is a learning process, and is not always a “bag of gold in the other side of the rainbow”, we are still trying different ways to improve our relationship.

Each day I am learning a lot of things.
Each day I love john and the kids more.
Each day I am thankful to the Almighty for giving me a life with john and the kids.
And most of all each day as I open my eyes and fear of the unknown sets in, I know I can face it because somebody is there at my back to support me and I know that there is God who never abandon me.
So each day I am thankful and blessed.

The pain of separation or incorporation offers the same sting. Either way, you have to go through a horrifying ordeal to make it work. I have seen a lot of transformation in my life and in transition, pain is undeniable. There are times that I would just savor the pain; there are times that I will deny myself to feel the pain.

Now this blog is under on its metamorphosis stage. Pain is inevitable but certainly after facing this gruesome stage, this blog will never be lonely, and the writer will (I hope) write more meaningful entries.

So good bye my old template; you were my witness in this life I am leading. I can never thank you enough for everything that you offered. Friendship; a heart, an ear, and a shoulder, we both became close - moreover became one. But as I journey toward life, I should learn to let go for I know letting go of something like you would mean a new stage in my blogging world. I am so sorry to have let you down but I know you’ll understand. You will always be remembered.



brat

ps.

As part of the transition process, from today onwards I will be called dhOt

I have found a significant factor of my being on the net. I felt odd upon seeing it. It seemed so happy and accomplished. It seemed to have moved on. It seemed to be so fulfilled. It seemed to have forgotten everything about me; my existence. I speculate the time for me to have moved on and forgotten every knowledge I have of it.

When will this moment be?

To this I wonder….
to this I vow…
to this I yearn…

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I think the appearance of this blog should be changed... I will be making some moderation on my template maybe tonight when my son benedict sleeps... Or maybe I will eventually delete this. This blog is such a lonely blog. The writer maybe a psycho, having a demented mind; a hostage imprisoned in a hostile place. A paranoid, a schizophrenic with violent tendencies…



Schizophrenic,


brAt