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lost, confused, paraniod

I have been out of the blogging world for more than a week. I was busy with things at work and at home; things concerning my babies and other personal issues.

My benedict is growing each day. He is learning a lot of things and I can’t help but be proud of him. Seeing him do big leaps from clapping his hands, waving good bye, smiling and laughing when I tickle him offer such a good relief and provides me inner strength to face my daily struggles. Three new front teeth are coming out. He is quite irritable but other than that, everything is fine. He is also learning to balance himself while standing and after a few months I can picture dj and benedict playing together.

My dj is johns small version of himself. He is his mini me. They both love shoes and basketball. Oh, and last week we went to the mall and found a nice pair of shoes for dj. Dj loved the shoes, when he tried the shoes on, he assumed that he was playing ball he jumped and shots the ball on the air. And he kept saying the shoes were nice. Oh kids they can be so fascinating. We bought the shoe anyway.

My little benedict on the other hand was so thrilled to see a lot of things not found at home. He was very sleepy but wanted to see things in amusement. Bottom line is, he fell asleep happy and awestruck. I on the other hand, had this strange feeling of happiness and guilt. Happy because my babies are happy and guilt is there because I know I should have done better. Spend more time with them and all… think I’ll take a weeks leave just to spend time with them. Nah.

Writing about my kids can make me go on and on…. I guess I’ll just stop here at the mean time.
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A close friend is having a baby. She waited for so long for this baby to come. I am in high hopes that everything will be okay. I wish her all the best, good health, happiness, safe pregnancy and most of all, I wish her baby a happy and blessed life. I cant wait to see her offspring.
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May. This is the month that my niece Zoë was born. She was born the same day our grandmother was born. Cool isn’t it.
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i am lost
help me find my way
lead to me to the day
where no confusion can come my way.

I have been struggling
With lots of things mind blowing
And now here I am begging
End this nonsense ranting.

Lost,
Confused,
Paranoid me,



brAt

thanks mare you uplifted my spirit!!

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