watermelonshake

The pain of separation or incorporation offers the same sting. Either way, you have to go through a horrifying ordeal to make it work. I have seen a lot of transformation in my life and in transition, pain is undeniable. There are times that I would just savor the pain; there are times that I will deny myself to feel the pain.

Now this blog is under on its metamorphosis stage. Pain is inevitable but certainly after facing this gruesome stage, this blog will never be lonely, and the writer will (I hope) write more meaningful entries.

So good bye my old template; you were my witness in this life I am leading. I can never thank you enough for everything that you offered. Friendship; a heart, an ear, and a shoulder, we both became close - moreover became one. But as I journey toward life, I should learn to let go for I know letting go of something like you would mean a new stage in my blogging world. I am so sorry to have let you down but I know you’ll understand. You will always be remembered.



brat

ps.

As part of the transition process, from today onwards I will be called dhOt

I have found a significant factor of my being on the net. I felt odd upon seeing it. It seemed so happy and accomplished. It seemed to have moved on. It seemed to be so fulfilled. It seemed to have forgotten everything about me; my existence. I speculate the time for me to have moved on and forgotten every knowledge I have of it.

When will this moment be?

To this I wonder….
to this I vow…
to this I yearn…

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I think the appearance of this blog should be changed... I will be making some moderation on my template maybe tonight when my son benedict sleeps... Or maybe I will eventually delete this. This blog is such a lonely blog. The writer maybe a psycho, having a demented mind; a hostage imprisoned in a hostile place. A paranoid, a schizophrenic with violent tendencies…



Schizophrenic,


brAt

Wow! I mean wOw! My bro is quite famous back home. I have seen some sites that really appreciated their band. This is one of them. Click here to view the article.

After reading the article, I can’t help myself but be proud. This young boy who I thought was weird, not the usual boy in the neighborhood could become a prominent figure in the indie-music scene. Wow. I used to talk to him about music and stuff and I even tried to convince him that his music wont be a hit.

I remember the days when only the two of us are left at home, I usually play RnB’s, love songs and the likes while he plays weird songs.. pang-addict as I call it.. I would turn the volume of my radio to the fullest just so I cannot hear his music. Then he would turn the volume of his radio too.. Annoyed as he became, my stereo was louder, he would turn on his electric guitar and the amplifier and would make some noise. I usually lose during our music wars…Then I’d come knocking at his door shouting shit and all…

That is how I hated his music then. I really thought it was different. One day an uncle ask me how kanot was doing, I told him kanot is into pang-addict songs and that he has a band. Our uncle, a band leader told me, as long as he is into music, then it is good. I asked him why even if his songs are pang-addict? His answer, Yes because we are unique; music lovers are unique. The only thing we share with Beethoven, Mozart, and your music teacher is the Passion. I guess from that point on, I started to respect his diversity. I never really understood him until I was mature enough to understand.

I used to listen his compositions; I sometimes sneaked to read some of his poems. I even read a poem about me being a bad sister. huhuhu… I’ve forgiven him.

Now looking back, I didn’t knew he was having this big passion for rock n roll music until now. I just thought it was just a thing he will eventually outgrow like most of the people I know.. but I was wrong. He stood up and made me proud.

So to my dear kanot, I know eventually you will be able to read this.. I just want to let you know that I am just behind you in every undertaking you are having.


Cheesiness is over.




brAt

Brazil won!!! Brazil won!!! Brazil won!!! Two to nothing… weeee…

I watched the Brazil – Australia match. It was my first game and I super enjoyed it. I never knew football could be this interesting. I am a solid Brazil fan now. Their game last night was breath-taking. I cannot even talk or just blink my eyes – that is how glued I was to the game.

Australia had some gwapo players and that made the game more fun…

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In other news yesterday was Fathers Day. I sent john an email before I left for work last Saturday. It was a cheesy one. He sent a reply and from that moment on, I kinda knew he was touched by the content of the mail…

I am not making any sense lately as you can read on my previous posts; I don’t know I just don’t have the right words in my head to transcribe what it is I am exactly feeling.



brAt

Wow! I have a new cluster map at my side bar.. and guess what? Somebody viewed this blog other than me and a badz… its so nice that somebody took their time to view this blog… I hope i can hear from them soon.. feel free to leave a comment…

I guess having this cluster map is the coolest thing which I believe bloggers should have. It connects us all. This will probably make way for this blog to be known by my other friends…

So again, to my readers, feel free to read my blog, post a comment, and together, let’s make the blogging world rule….

brAt

Silence is the only medicine I know to heal a scar that has been punctured again in the same spot! The pain is greater than the previous one. The scar would probably be clearer and bigger. The healing process would be longer……

The memories will no longer be vague; and forgiveness, the same.

Battling your existence to an inexistent world is hard…battling you existence to an existent world is harder. But battling your existence to an existent hostile world is much harder.

On the lighter note, the FIFA World Cup started yesterday…I am very much eager to watch even a single game… I will be exalted to watch Brazil play….the world cup fever is on me…



brAt

Domination of different kind isn’t really my thing. I believe in liberty; of equal rights, of respect, of ethics, of peace.

I have been in an instance where Filipinos are oppressed not once but twice! I was in a grocery store and I saw this man holding the butt of this Filipino lady… the lady was furious and didn’t know what to do… the man walked away..

The second instance was on me... I was still in that place looking for a nice smelling perfume for our car. I smelled smoke. So my reaction was to close my nose since I am allergic to it and don’t want my polyps to swell.. The next thing I knew, this man was shouting at me and telling me to go back to my country! He even told me why I am closing my nose and that this is not my country!!! WHAT! This fellow expat is telling me like this!! Yelling at me like he owned me…this cant be… I was beaming with anger. I was so furious that this man was yelling at me and things he was telling.. john heard somebody yelling but didn’t know I was the one being yelled at.. the moment he saw me, he asked what happened. He talked to this guy but instead, the guy turned him down calling john names. He even told john he was acting like a big boy!!! Is he nuts? He touched john on the arms... Everybody was looking at us.. I told not to touch. I was so angry I told him this cant be. I cannot just let his misdemeanor pass. We walked out! I told him I’ll call the manager… he answered bravely to call the manager. I told him to come and we’ll settle this in front of authorities…He thought we were the kind of people who are just willing to be stepped into. HE WAS WRONG! I talked to the supervisor and the supervisor talked to him. Can you guess what happens next?

The guy turned the blame on us!! He told the supervisor that we started everything.. DUH!?! I told the supervisor that it was very unethical of him to shout at me and tell things like that. And it is very rude of him to smoke and in the mall which I believe is a non-smoking mall... Ok even if the mall is smoking mall, if somebody smokes, then there would be reactions and smokers should be ready for it. and nobody should shout! all in all, the supervisor was apologetic of the mans behavior.

As for me, my anger didn’t subside yet... I told john that I should have asked for a personal apology which I didn’t really got!!! Until now, at this writing, I am still wondering what kind of human rights they have here… I’ll probably be an activist than be treated like that.

So my dear oppressed, let’s all join hands and fight for our right. This may be not our land, but this is our world. We all have the right to live a peaceful, respected life. Stand up! Fight!

brAt